How do you feel when you prepared for something big for 3 years, and it crumbled within a month even the days?

2022 was a roller coaster year for me. When that sucky day happened, I thought I had already lost myself. I have suffered tuberculous lymphadenitis for almost 1 year and the medical treatment is still continuing. This deadly illness changed my perception of life itself. There are always plot twists that can turn your life into the darkest place ever.

I had prepared myself to apply for a scholarship in South Korea. I convince myself that I definitely will get that golden opportunity.

But, I never prepared myself to be this sick. I have taken medical treatment for almost a year right now. To be honest, I don't know how long this treatment will continue. When my doctor told me I should have surgery, my anxiety got so high. The lymph in my neck was so big back then, he hoped it was not cancer. The result is not cancer of course, Alhamdulillah. But still, the illness that got me right now is deadly and takes a long time to heal.

The lymph in my neck is still significant and sometimes I have messy breathing on a stressful day.

On the other note, there is still the optimism that I have built in my mind. I’ll take medicine daily and I'll make it through whatever the circumstances.

If you read this line right now, remember that I am not giving up on myself yet. I will live this life to the fullest. I have faith that Allah will heal this illness sooner or later. I will keep fighting for my dearest people and for me to rise again.